A woman’s menstrual cycle is a cyclical event that occurs rhythmically during her reproductive years. Puberty starts when a woman is 12 to 15 years old, and her menstrual cycle ends when she is 50 to 55 years old. Menopause is the term used to describe the end of menstruation and menarche, respectively. The menstrual cycle typically lasts 28 days. It could last anywhere from 20 to 40 days under physiological circumstances.1
Like most girls, at one point in my life I got my first period.
This moment was highly anticipated, but it was a huge foggy mystery for me. Even though my mom had ‘the talk’ with me, all I knew was that I’ll be bleeding, having pain and I’ll be able to get pregnant from that point forward.
I had no idea about the phases that our hormones go through, no idea why I felt the way I did. As we were taught, there was just blood and pain. No more than that.
Before I actually got my period, my grandma would vaguely refer to a time that I’ll become a woman, when she won’t let me go out and play anymore because she doesn’t want me to come home pregnant. This made no sense to me. For me, being a woman meant being an actual adult. Why would I want to go out and play anymore? These kinds of statements were made pretty often: vague, but sounded almost like a threat, and they gave me lots of emotional stress and anxiety. Even though they were made from concern and from a place of love meant to protect me, you can only imagine how fast a child panics and starts imagining the worst.
This is the part where we throw religion into the mix. As you can imagine, knowing that I grew up in strict conservative family, we were highly religious (Orthodox Christianity). We were the kind of people that go to church every Sunday, say their prayers every day,two times a day, the kind that fasts and does everything by the book.
Knowing that I was around the age when girls usually get their first period, my grandma had to warn me. Once I ‘turned into a woman’ I couldn’t go inside the church while I was ‘bleeding’. She explained to me that during my menstruation I was unclean and I couldn’t enter the holy place, because it was a huge sin. Of course, that didn’t mean I would skip mass. It just meant I would listen to it while I was sitting outside.
Of course, as a devout believer that couldn’t even imagine the idea of not believing and not respecting each and every rule of the religion, I wouldn’t dare to come close to the holy place while I was ‘unclean’ and planned to listen to the mass in the beautiful garden that our church had. How could I disrespect the sacred place with the unholiness of my miserable body? The plan was set and done. When I was on my period, I would stay outside the church.
Easier said than done. Who would have guessed that biology doesn’t work by the church’s schedule. As you can already imagine, I got my first period during the Easter mass. One of the most important and sacred holidays. The mass lasted from around 20:30 to 4-5 in the morning. I got home early (around 2-3 in the morning) since I was excused because I was little. As I got home, firstly I had to go to the bathroom. And there it was. A brown stain on my underwear. Of course, my first thought was how did I manage to shit myself since I never felt I had to go to the bathroom the whole night. Then it hit me. It was dried blood. I got my first period. IN CURCH! A wave of panic rushed into my body, my heart started racing, and streams of tears flooded my eyes. How is this possible? I committed one of the biggest sins without even being aware. That was it. I was going to burn in hell for disrespecting a holy place.
Once I made peace with the fact that my soul was going to burn for eternity, I came to the realization that I was already in hell. All those times that my grandma said that my freedom was over the moment I ‘became a woman’ came like a compilation of horror videos in my head. My childhood was over and from that moment on, my life was all about school, chores and church. Depressing for an adult, imagine how depressing that would be for an 11-year-old.
But since my eternal soul was already condemned to an eternity of suffering, why would I have to suffer in this life too? The smartest thing I could do in this situation was to hide my period. And that is exactly what I did.
Seeing that adults around me treated menstruation like an incurable illness that was spread through the most humiliating way possible, of course I was ashamed of my period. Buying sanitary products wasn’t even an option. So, for a few months I had to wear thick layers of toilet paper or even socks that I would hand wash.
Since all I knew was that periods come once a month, I had no idea how they worked. Not to mention that my period was very irregular. I couldn’t risk staining the bed sheets because my big secret would come to light. So, every night before bed, I would put towels over towels over my bed so that if I got my period while I was sleeping, I could get the towels and handwash them secretly. It worked for a few months, but it genuinely got exhausting.
All this charade ended when my mom came back to town and she sensed that something was off. She figured out what was happening and I told her everything. She had a talk with my grandma and now I finally got pads and the promise that I won’t be turned into a prisoner just because I could get pregnant.
There are many facts about menstruation that I’ve learned in my adult life. And honestly it is a shame that most of the little girls are completely in the dark when it comes to the way that their own bodies work.
Of course, another factor that plays a huge role in this is that women’s bodies are researched too little. Tell me why are researchers more interested in men’s balding than endometriosis and its huge impact on women’s lives? In today’s world, balding can be resolved by a transplant or even treatments like minoxidil. AND BEING BALD DOESN’T EVEN HURT. Yes, it may cause some small inconveniences here and there, but they are not even close to the painful symptoms of endometriosis. Of course, the most research thing about this condition is how attractiveness of women who have it is affected. Because God forbid a woman cannot be conventionally attractive when half of her life is struggling to work as a normal human being.